But there is this one annoying thing...

Once upon a time, there was this dude. He was filthy rich, and he and the Prime Minister were best friends. Mr. Prime Minister had given him the best job (almost) in the country—second to one. He had seventy-eight children, which were the apples of his eyes. In a word, he had it made. But there was this one thing…

You see, there was this other dude. He wasn’t super rich, and he had none of Mr. Big Stuff’s influence and prestige. But good grief was this guy ever annoying! All of the other little peons asked for his autograph and smiled and grinned and stood up when he entered the room and generally knew when they were in the presence of Big Stuff. But not John Doe. He treated Big Stuff like any other dude—didn’t even ask for an autograph! Well, Big Stuff got mad. Really mad. So he did what anyone in his dire situation would do.

First, he invited all his friends and his favorite wife for a midnight snack. The after dinner speech would be presented by Big Stuff himself.

“Lady and gentlemen,” he began dramatically. That was his favorite beginning. “Lend me your ears!” Ah, his favorite line from Marcus Aurelius, his favorite actor. An hour and a half later, his audience sat motionless, still completely spellbound as Big Stuff showed them his last pay stub—three hundred thousand rupees! His seventy-eight children paraded by, and the audience oohed and aahed at all the appropriate moments. Then Big Stuff showed them his Certificate of Power from the Prime Minister and all the medals and ribbons and Nobel Prizes he’d won. Everything was going well until Big Stuff remembered why he’d called this meeting in the first place.

“Lady and gentlemen,” he continued intensely, an angry scowl forming, “all my greatness is nothing to me, because—because there is this dude who annoys me!”

The audience gasped. Fortunately, Big Stuff had married a problem solver. There are two types of people in the world: problem creators and problem solvers. Well, Mrs. Big Stuff was an ace problem solver. She was so not into quick fixes. She got to the root of the problem and fixed it forever. Mr. Big Stuff obviously had a problem, and he needed it fixed. Mrs. Big Stuff scratched her head and began frantically scribbling on pieces of papyrus. What an awful dilemma! What could possibly make her darling husband happy again? Why, oh why did this have to happen to her?

Then she had it! Simple, oh so simple! Genius!

“Daahling,” wrapping her arms around Big Stuff’s heaving shoulders, “I’ve got just the thing. Vy don’t you chust keel zis annoyink peon? Surely ze Prime Minster vouldn’t care…I mean, if he iss causing you so much trouble, ze Prime Minster vouldn’t like him either.”
Bingo! He always knew he’d married her for her brains. In two hours, the gallows were erected—big impressive ones that would rival the seven wonders of the ancient world.

Unfortunately for Mr. Big Stuff, he underestimated this particular peon. To make a long story short, Mr. Big Stuff got to test his own gallows (they worked!), and the annoying peon got his job. Perhaps it’s not the happy ending you were looking for. Sorry, but that’s the way that it happened.

You see, I’ve been reading the book of Esther, listening to Crystal Paine, and doing a little thinking of my own. The moral of the story is this: contentment has no prerequisites. Haman had it all—quite literally everything except the throne. Yet he was discontent because he chose to focus on what he didn’t have—one guy’s respect—instead of giving thanks for what he did have. (Esther 5:11-13)

Joy stems from contentment, and contentment is a willful act. I choose to be content with such things as I have. I choose to be thankful for the blessings God has given to me. I choose joy.

The joy of the Lord is my strength.

Side note: A couple of years ago, when Ruth and I were debating together, we used an H.L. Mencken quote, “For every complex problem, there is a solution that is simple, straightforward, and wrong.” (slight paraphrase) I couldn’t help but think of that quote when I read the part of the story where Zeresh, Haman’s wife, suggests that Haman hang Mordecai.God had a better idea…